Breakaway
by PCGirl
Summary: Complete. Natalie's life is turned around and she comes to accepting that sometimes the best thing to do is move on with what you haveeven if it feels like you have nothing at all.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters, locations, and similarities to current storylinesare property of ABC/Disney, and I do not believe I own them.

A/N: This story came to me over a week ago on a drive home from work one day and has slowly made it's way onto paper. I'm stuck on the ending of Good Intentions at the moment, but I'll get that final sweet/sappy chapter out eventually.

I'm really not sure what the ending of this story will be--it all depends on one thing, what Melissa Archer decides. I'm going to write it up until the end, and then--depending on what she decides--I'll know the ending that this story is meant to have. I want her choice to be HER choice--and whatever it is, I'll support her.

Enough babbling--everyone enjoy this--if MA makes the decision to go out to LA then this might just be the last story pertaining to Natalie that I ever write. Until next time--PCGirl.

* * *

_Middle of June_

Natalie gave Jessica another hug as tears rolled down her face—she knew the decision was the best one, but she still wondered what would happen if she stayed. She reminded herself that she wasn't cutting all ties with her family—she just needed to be her own person for awhile—allow herself to breakaway from those that loved her and let her make her own decisions.

As she turned and went on the plane she thought about all that had happened in the past month—the good, the bad, and the reasons she felt like getting on this plane and getting out of Llanview was a good idea.

* * *

_One Month Before_

"Here's the file you wanted, Sir," said Natalie as she walked into John's office, dropped the file and turned as quickly as she'd walked in. It'd been a few days since she kissed him and he told her he was committed to Evangeline. She had said fine and then asked him to leave—not letting him see her break, and she wasn't going to let him see her now.

"Natalie—wait. Can we talk?"

"Sure—you need another file?" she asked—keeping her direction towards the door.

"No. Close the door—it's personal and the entire department doesn't have to hear about it."

She didn't want to argue with him now but despite her best judgment closed the door, "John—I'm fine. I understand it—you feel like you want to be with Evangeline now and I'm not going to try and stop you from being a sellout."

"I'm a sellout?" he said with a half laugh.

She was mortified that she'd said that out loud, but it'd been on her mind for a past few days and she needed to speak, "Yes, because you aren't the John I met in the beginning. That John seemed to know who he was and remembered where he came from. You—you are now acting all preppy boy trying to impress Evangeline.

"Is she worth it? Are you going to start listening to classical instead of Jazz music? And pool—is the pool stick finally hung up for the tennis racket? Because seriously John—if you're changing your entire persona to make Evangeline think you are exactly what she needs then I was right—you are a sell out.

"Have I ever even met the real Johnny Mac or did Caitlyn get another version of him too? And the girl before her, and the one before her—are there a hundred different versions out there about one man? Because if there are then you don't get women at all, John," she said as she turned and stormed out.

* * *

Michael walked into Rodi's and slid into the stool next to Natalie, "Hey tough guy."

"Hey," she said with a half smile, focusing on the drink in front of her.

"Uh oh—I know that face—it's the 'I did something or said something stupid to your brother' face. What's up?"

"Nothing much," she shrugged. "Just told him he was a sellout."

"Ouch," he said with a half smile. "What was he reaction?"

"Denial. I went too far though—I said that not only was the John I knew originally a sellout, but I questioned whether he was faking his love and interests with Caitlyn also. I know that's not the truth at all—and I'm trying to drink my way into going back to the station and apologize tonight."

"Good luck—it takes a lot to eat warm crow," he smiled as his pager went off. "Sigh. A doctor's work is never done. Enjoy your beer and crow—if you get around to it tonight. If not, I'm sure it'll be there for you in the morning."

"Very funny, McBain," she said with a glare and went back to finishing her drink.

* * *

Natalie walked out of Rodi's and made a right and towards the parking lot her car was in—it was late and she had to work in the morning—and find some way of apologizing to John for what she'd said. Her thoughts stopped as she tripped over something sticking out of her car tire and was able to catch herself before falling all the way to the ground.

She paused before kneeling down and touching it—realizing it was a crossbow arrow. She'd read Marcie's book and fear crept over her as she stood up slowly and looked around. She heard footsteps suddenly coming towards her and walked the opposite way of them, slipping behind a corner and dialing quickly—praying he was his normal self and working late tonight, "John?"

"What is it, Natalie? I thought you didn't want to deal with sellouts," he grumbled as he looked at a file again.

"Someone—they—shot an arrow into my tire," she whispered as she tried to keep an ear out for the footsteps.

"Where are you?" he asked, getting up immediately and grabbing his jacket.

"I was leaving Rodi's—I can't walk back there without being an easy target. What do I do?"

"The abandoned warehouse near there—can you see the front door from where you are?"

"I think so—what do you want me to do?"

"Go in there and hide behind some boxes—be as quiet as possible. I'll be there in a few minutes—don't even let your location be known if you think it's just me there—do you understand, Natalie?"

"Yeah," she said uneasily.

"It's going to be ok—I'm not going to let anything happen to you—I promise," he said as he hung up the phone and went to find someone else to come with him for backup.

* * *

She sat there in the dark—trying to hear something—a noise or movement in the building. Maybe she was imagining things—maybe it hadn't been an arrow in her tire at all. Suddenly she heard movement near her and she jumped—had whoever it had been heard her jump? Were they about to shoot at her and she had no clue? Her mind raced and she jumped again as an arm went around her mouth and kept her from screaming.

"It's just me," whispered John into her ear. "Start moving quietly to the door," he said as he put one hand on the small of her back and made her begin to walk, his other hand holding his gun, ready to shoot. He paused at thinking he'd heard something but kept on moving her towards the door. A few seconds later he heard the noise again and pushed Natalie out of the way of the arrow.

John didn't duck but began shooting in the direction of the shot—feeling it was futile and that the killer probably escaped somehow.

"He's gone—you can get up Natalie," he spoke as he realized she was holding her arm and he kneeled beside her. "Are you ok?"

"I think—I think he hit my arm," she said softly as she pulled her hand away and realized there was something warm on her palm now.

"Ok," he sighed as he tried to figure out what was the best way to do this. He touched the wound and could feel the hole in her jacket and shirt, and trickle of blood that had began to come out. He took undid his tie quickly and double tied it around her arm to put pressure on the wound, laughing to himself to calm his nerves, "Michael will probably laugh when he sees my idea on medical care."

"That's why he's the doctor and you're not," she said, trying to laugh herself but unable to do so.

"You think you can walk out of here?" he asked and felt her shake her head no. "We need to get you to a hospital," he said as he got one arm under her legs and her good arm hooked around his neck. "It's going to be ok, Natalie," he said softly as he carried her outside.

* * *

"I wish you'd believe me when I say I'm fine," said Natalie as she flinched as Michael finished stitching up her wound.

"You blacked out on the drive over here," spoke John, his hands gripping the footboard of the hospital bed.

"I did not," she retorted.

"Ok—then what was the song on the radio as we drove over?" he asked as she shrugged. "You blacked out Natalie—so just let my brother here run some tests."

"Michael--."

"I have to agree with Johnny on this one," said Michael as he put a clean patch over the wound and took off his gloves. "Don't move your arm too much—though I think one shot of pain through your whole body should teach you a lesson," he said with a grin. "John—can we talk outside?"

"Yeah—I'll be right outside."

"Ok," she sighed as she rested herself back into the pillows.

"She fainted Mikey—despite what she says. I put her in the passenger side of my truck, went around to my side and by the time I got in she was out cold. She says she was just resting her eyes, but I'm wondering if this psycho put something on the tip of the arrow."

"I don't think it was that at all—her adrenaline was pumping so hard through the ordeal that when she had a chance to take a breath she passed out from it all. I'll run tests and keep her for overnight observation. Have you thought about getting her a bodyguard? I mean this guy probably already knows she lived."

"There's a cop on the way—I'm going to go back to the scene and see how it's going, but I want to come back afterwards. She could have easily died tonight, Michael."

"I know, but she's fine—you saved her, like always," he grinned as John just rolled his eyes before answering his phone.

"McBain. What? Where? Are you sure it's her? Yeah—yeah, don't touch anything until I get there," he said as he hung up his phone and was quiet for a moment.

"Who was that?"

"Someone found Jenn Rapaport dead a little while ago—strangled outside of her car. They say it looks like it was setup to be a suicide."

"Marcie," said Michael as his face dropped. "I need to be the one to tell her John."

"Yeah—I need to go to the crime scene myself, but I can't leave her alone," he said as he looked into Natalie's room to see it looked like she was sleeping.

"Can't or won't?"

"Don't start, Mikey—not at a time like this. Let me call the cop—see how far he is at getting here," said John as he went around the corner—thinking of how this uneventful night had ended up with two women's lives in peril and how luckily at least one of their lives had been saved.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm assuming the statement in SOW is true, so I know which direction my story is going. I was really hoping for another direction, but I'm stuck with what I've got. It's ok--I'm still a supporter and a fan, no matter what. Until next time--PCGirl.

* * *

Rex got off the elevator and turned the corner—going to the room John had told him about just a bit ago. The fact that Jen was dead had still be playing in his head when John had shown up and told him Natalie had been attacked. Though he knew he wanted to stay for more information about what happened to Jen he had to see that Natalie was ok for himself—he couldn't lose the two people he loved more than himself in one night. 

He nodded at the guard as he walked past him and into her room—the lights were down low and he could tell she was curled on her side and asleep. He walked up and touched the bandage that covered her wound—seeing her flinching in her sleep from the pain. He pulled up and chair and just sat next to her, thinking to himself out loud, "I don't know what I would have done if someone would have told me I lost the love of my life and role model within minutes of each other. I failed Jen, Natty—I should have been there to protect her from whoever this crazy Ted person is. Or protecting you—I'll never say this again, but thank God for McBain and his super hero complex."

"I'm going to find out who tried to hurt you both. I know you say I should stay out of the police business, but you—both you and Jen—you _are_ my business. I love you Natty," he said as he got up and gave her a kiss on the head before leaving the room for a few minutes.

* * *

"I'm sorry Jen," said Rex, his hands folded and being used as a chin rest as he sat in the hospital chapel. He turned at the sound of the door opening and saw Natalie coming in, her arm in a sling and a robe laying over her shoulders. "Hey—what are you doing up?" 

"I woke up and the guard said you were in my room a few minutes ago—said he thought you came this way. Did you say you were sorry to someone?"

"Yeah. Sit down Nat—you need to hear this."

Her heart began to race a bit, "Ok. What's going on?"

"You weren't the only one attacked tonight. Jen—she was attacked outside of her car and suffocated to death. Bo thinks it was made to look like a suicide but the guy ran for some reason before completing everything. There was a bloody bandana in the passenger seat—he's pretty sure it's going to prove to be Paul Cramer's blood."

"I'm so sorry Rex," she said as she leaned towards him, but flinching at the pain. "Did she fight? I mean was there skin under her nails or something to give proof as to who Ted might really be?"

"Yeah—she put up a good fight."

"She always did," said Natalie with a slight laugh and watched Rex crack a smile. "I really am sorry. I know we never got along, but I know what she meant to you—is that why you came to see me when you heard?"

"I would have come no matter what. You are my role model—my big sister—I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to harass and pull me out of tough situations. I had just talked Bo into letting me be the one to tell Lindsey when John came up and told me and Bo the news. Bo didn't even have to ask—I think I was in my car and on the way over here before John finished talking."

"I'm glad you're here," she said as she put her head on his shoulder and let out a yawn.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed before McBain yells at me for making you listen to my sob story," he said with a grin as he helped her up and they walked out of the chapel.

They had gotten back to her room and noticed the cop was nowhere to be seen, "Where'd he go?" she asked.

"Probably went to find some doughnuts," he said with a laugh as he pushed her into the room but once in the doorway she stopped walking. "Natalie?" he asked as he looked over her shoulder and saw that sticking out of the hospital bed was an arrow.

* * *

"I want to know why you weren't watching her!" screamed John in the hallway to the police officer. 

"She was with her brother—they'd gone off together so I went to take a break. I'm sorry sir."

"You better be sorry—you could have caught the killer."

"That's enough, I've got to stop this," said Natalie as she got back out of the bed and went outside—Rex following her. "John—you need to stop. First of all, we'll still catch him and second—you're in a hospital filled with sick people that might want to get some sleep tonight. Rex is staying with me for the night so you can go and Officer Rodriguez can go home also."

"I--."

"You're not the only one that wants Natalie safe—I'm just a good of candidate to watch her as anyone else is," spoke Rex. John began to argue again until Natalie gave him a look and he turned and walked off.

* * *

"Are you sure you want me to do this?" asked Natalie as they stepped into the elevator that would take them up to the gallery for Jen's memorial service. 

"Yeah, you're strong for me, Natty," said Rex as he took a deep breath and held in the tears. "And if anyone asks you to leave then let me know."

Natalie sighed at watching him—when she'd woken up this morning in the hospital his face was stained with tears. When he'd cried she didn't know, but she could tell he was trying to hold up this strong exterior that was quickly losing any support he'd had the night before.

When they got off the elevator Rex found Lindsey and they both walked over. Natalie wasn't sure what to say as Rex gave her a hug. She just smiled at Lindsey as they pulled out, "I'm sorry about Jen. I know we didn't get along, but I'm here for Rex—he wanted me to come here for him."

"It's ok, Natalie. Rex loved Jen and he needs support in his life now, just like I do," she smiled looking back at RJ that was standing behind her.

"Yeah, and what are big sisters for?" she smiled at him and then excused herself. She went and saw her Uncle Bo—reassuring him that she was fine and her wound hurt less now than it had last night. After she was done she saw Marcie standing with Michael and Will and decided to walk over slowly and tell them she was sorry about Jen. "Hey," she said, suddenly feeling uneasy.

"Hey Natalie—I'm surprised to see you here," said Michael when nobody else would speak up.

"Rex wanted me to come here to be support for him," she said, looking back at where he was and saw him talking quietly with Bo about something.

"Yeah, in his own weird way he loved her and has a right to grieve her just like the rest."

"Marcie," said Will as he gave Natalie a smile. "I'm glad you're here for Rex—we all need someone to prop us up right now."

"That's what your mom just said," she smiled and it got awkward again. She noticed Michael's eyes go over towards the elevator and turned to see Evangeline walking over, "Hi."

"Hey," she smiled as she and Will were introduced.

"So where's my brother at?" asked Michael.

"I'm not sure—he said he had something to do with a case and wouldn't be able to make it."

* * *

John walked down the cold concrete corridor, following closely behind the guard. He paid no attention to the names and voices calling out to him from behind the bars, focused on the task at hand. When they got to the cell he noticed the painting of her in her wedding dress first off—he'd gotten his talent back, but while he was still in here it was wasted. 

He didn't even know anyone was outside of his cell—focused on his painting—until the guard began to open the cell and John walked in. John could tell he was surprised to see him by the look in his eyes. John said nothing though until he'd taken a seat on his bed, looking down at his hands and then back up at the man before him, "We need to talk."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I had this ready to post before Athena probably left, oh well--she'll just have to wait two weeks to read it. YAY! that Melissa re-signed (gotta watch that hyphen--LOL)--I really didn't want to end it the other way anyways.Everyone enjoy!Until next time--PCGirl.

* * *

John was beyond frustrated as he walked into the police station the next morning—he had the killer that was copying Marcie's book, Paul's killer, and Jen's death on his hands already—not to mention last night's conversation with Cris hadn't gone as planned. 

"_We need to talk."_

"_About what?" asked Cris—putting his paintbrush and pallet on a small table beside the canvas he had._

_John looked over at the painting of Natalie, inside he was thinking how beautiful she was, but he couldn't say that outloud, he needed to get the story out, "Natalie's life was in danger two nights ago—there's a murderer out there and he's decided she's his next target."_

"_Does she have protection now?"_

"_She did until she sent him home—she's been with Rex or the Buchanan's the rest of the day. Even though I don't care for Rex—."_

"_He'll protect her as much as anyone else though."_

"_Yeah."_

"_So why'd you have to tell me this?"_

"_Because she's in danger and the person best apt to protect her would be her husband."_

"_No, absolutely not. You said you'd find a way to protect her and keep my secret—no turning back on that promise now, McBain."_

"_I've got a full case load, and though I want to protect her I don't have the time to do it. Plus, I can't get that close to her knowing you are still her husband."_

"_What about Antonio?"_

"_He's in the middle of a custody dispute with RJ."_

"_You'll find a way to protect her, McBain, you're good at that. As for me telling my family the truth—no way—the scars from the imposter are probably almost healed by now."_

"_I doubt that, but it's your life, man. If you want to throw it away in here then go right ahead, but as for Natalie's happiness—she can't truly be happy with anyone if she's still legally married to you."_

"_John. Earth to John."_

John's thoughts were interrupted by hearing a female voice in the room and came back to reality with a shake of his head, looking over his shoulder to see Natalie standing in the doorway, "Hey."

"Hey yourself. Where were you just then?"

"Thinking about a case. Close the door—I want your opinion on this," he said, thinking to himself if he was crazy to throw this situation out and see her response to it.

"Ok," she said—it'd been awhile since he'd asked for opinion on a case.

"There's a case I did awhile back where we found this guy guilty with very little evidence. Now evidence has come forward that shows he's innocent. That's where I was last night—telling him this, and he turns it around and says he doesn't care. That he'd be better off in there than having to face his family again."

"Even though he's not guilty on all charges?"

"Yeah. So I'm trying to decide what to do now."

"Aren't you legally obligated to present the new evidence?"

He gave a shrug of his head before speaking, "I suppose I could just give the evidence to a lawyer and let them go through the proceedings of getting his ruling overturned. It's just I don't understand why he wants to stay in prison for something he didn't do."

"Makes no sense to me either. You're a good cop, John—you'll figure it out," she said with a smile and then got up.

"If you say so," chuckled John and decided to put aside the Cristian dilemma for a bit and focus on the current crimes he still needed to solve.

* * *

Natalie walked back to her desk where she'd had Rex wait for her and didn't see him around but jumped at the sound of shouting coming from Bo's office she ran in to see Rex furious at something, "What's going on?"

"Someone messed with the evidence in Jen's case," he shouted, letting the whole department hear him.

"What? How?"

"According to the medical examiner there was no DNA evidence of Jen's attacker found anywhere on her body."

"Rex, I thought you said—."

"Yeah, there was. I'm sure of it."

"I'll call him and see if he might have forgotten about it. Just calm down, Rex," said Bo as he called down and talked to someone on the phone. "Are you sure? And he didn't say how long he'd be gone? Ok, well if he happens to call let me know."

"What'd he say?" snapped Rex before Bo put the phone down.

"Easy Rex. He's gone on a sudden unplanned vacation."

"Ted paid him off—damn it!"

"We don't know that, but I'm going to put a search out on him—see what we can come up with."

"Good. What can I do?"

"Nothing. Let us do our job. Natalie—did you tell John you were taking a couple days off?"

"No, he seemed into a case so I forgot to tell him. Are you sure you want me to be off? You might need me here."

"We'll be fine, sweetie—but take your brother with you."

"Ok," she said with a laugh and grabbed his arm to lead him out of the office and station all together.

* * *

"Do you think it'd be better if we never came here?" asked Rex as he and Natalie sat on the floor of a closed Ultra Violet with drinks in their hands. This had been where he'd wanted to go when they left the station and she hadn't argued with him.

"I don't know—why?"

"We'd never had met Jen or Cris and they might not be dead and we'd be better off in life."

"True. But we'd never get to find each other again."

"I don't think we were ever separated that much Natty—you were always just a thought away as I was growing up, and even if you weren't with me you were always where it counted," he said, placing his hand on his chest.

"Alright Rex—it's time to take away the booze from you," she said, stretching forwards to get the bottle away from him but he held it close to his chest in protection from her.

"I'm not drunk and I'm being serious Nat. Yeah this town brought us back to each other, but look—even if we weren't raised together we're exactly alike still—two screwed up kids thanks to Roxy looking for love."

"Are you thinking of leaving town?"

"Maybe—I don't know. I mean as long as we know who our family is and that they love us and we're always welcomed back into their home does it really matter where we call home?"

Natalie was surprised at how deep he was getting in this conversation and it scared her but she had a point—she knew who her family was and they loved her, maybe it didn't matter if she left them to figure out who she was for herself.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Not much to say—except I LOVE MY JOLIE! Hehehehe—did we get a great week or what? Here's to more great weeks to follow, no matter how long it takes, they've got me hooked again. Until next time—did I mention I love Jolie?—PCGirl.

* * *

"Hey—you having lunch out here today?" asked John as he walked up to Natalie who was sitting on a bench in Angel Square eating by herself.

"It's a nice day," she shrugged—not letting him know she was still thinking about what Rex said. It'd been a week since he'd given the suggestion of just leaving town, and though when she called him on it the other day and he said he'd changed his mind, she couldn't give up the idea. She enjoyed her friends and family here, but she kept wondering what else was out there.

"Yeah, it is. Tell Rex when you see him that we finally got a lead on where the medical examiner went to. Hopefully when we talk to him he'll squeal."

"He'll be glad to know ya'll are actually doing something," she said with a slight grin.

"Is something wrong, Natalie?"

"It's nothing, just something I was thinking about."

"Yeah?" he asked, surprised she wasn't opening up more with him on whatever was bothering her.

"When Caitlyn died—did you ever think of just quitting the FBI and going somewhere completely away from everyone that knew you and starting over? I don't mean losing contact with your family—but just that it might be easier away from everything that reminded you of her."

He was taken aback by her words, he'd had the same feeling at that point in his life but never could take the step of walking away. Just as he began to speak his cell phone began to ring, "Hold on. Yeah—ok—yeah, I'm on my way."

"Was that the station?" she asked as he put his phone back in his pocket.

"I need to go—they're bringing the ME in. Listen Natalie—I know it's tough right now, missing Cristian, but it gets better. You'll find someone to be with again and make you miss him less."

"Yeah, I—I get that. I guess I was just hoping you'd give me an idea of how you felt at first—since we both lost Caitlyn and Cris so soon. I thought we were pretty similar John—in where we came from and what we've been through in our lives, but maybe I was wrong—maybe we're just two completely different people who just happen to have a few things in common.

"Can I ask you one more question? Did I help you move on from Caitlyn or did I just imagine all of that? Was it really Evangeline that got you to forget Caitlyn?"

"Natalie—."

"No, don't. I'm sorry I asked you a personal question—that's your business, not mine. I'll see you later," she said as she collected her lunch and then went off towards the diner to see Carlotta.

* * *

Natalie sat in the living room with the piece of paper in her hand and read the list again, "Houston, San Diego, Denver, Baltimore." Since John's brush off of her question earlier she'd been thinking more about leaving. She wanted somewhere bigger, where she'd be able to fit in, but still somehow fill like home.

She was surprised she'd thought of Denver—it was completely opposite of the rest—in the mountains and nowhere near the coast. She folded the paper up as she heard the front door and smiled at seeing her mom walk in, "Hi mom."

"Hey sweetie. You're home early," she said, giving Natalie a big hug.

"Yeah, I took off early from work—I had something I needed to think about."

"What is that?"

"Nothing," she said shaking her head—not ready to speak her idea out loud.

"Is everything ok?"

She stuck her thumbs in her belt loops and walked around the room a bit. "I was thinking of leaving Llanview—finding out what else is out there that I haven't seen yet."

Vicki sighed at seeing the confusion going through her daughter's mind right now, "I knew this day would come."

"Really? I didn't even know until yesterday—Rex brought up how we found and lost the people we loved here—that maybe it'd be better to go somewhere with no bad memories. Not that finding you and my family was bad."

"I know sweetheart, and I'm so blessed to have you come into my life. But I also know that you are different than Kevin and Jessie and Joey because I didn't get to see you grow up, and that you've seen and dealt with things in your short life that they didn't deal with. Not that they haven't had their own problems.

"Not so long ago, after that imposter went to jail, I had a fear creep inside of me that one day you might decide Llanview isn't where you want to live for the rest of your life. It took me awhile to accept it, but I knew I'd be ok with you leaving here."

"You are?"

"Yes, but only as long as you know one thing Natalie. This is always your home, and me and Clint and everyone else here are always your family. We'll miss you when you leave sweetie, but we will always _always_ love you and wish you only the best."

"I don't think I can ever forget something that important, Mom," she said as she came and gave her a hug—realizing that the idea might soon be a reality.

* * *

John felt like an idiot—his response earlier sounded like something he once read in a sympathy card he was given after he'd lost Caitlyn. It wasn't the words of person that had been in Natalie's shoes, and in a way—he still was in her shoes. But not really—Natalie had no reason to mourn Cristian—he was alive, and the secret was eating away at him.

After interrogating the medical examiner he went out to go apologize to Natalie, but she was gone. He asked if anyone had seen her since lunch and a few told John that she'd called in and said she needed to take the rest of the day off. John wanted to go find her and apologize, but then a part of him realized he had no right to apologize until he told her everything he was sorry for—including Cris being alive.

* * *

"No. You can't leave, Natalie. I mean you've only been in our lives for a few years—why would you want to just get up and leave like that?" questioned Jessica as her and Kevin sat on one couch and Natalie and Viki sat on another.

"I'm not leaving your lives—it's just that I want to see what else is out there. Mom understands, right?" she asked as she looked to Viki for support.

"I do—and I support whatever decision you want sweetie. I think Jessica is just going to miss her sister is all," she said as she took Natalie's hand and squeezed it.

"I'm going to miss you too, Jess, but you can come visit me whenever you like. Maybe you can take a whole month off at the Banner this summer and just spend it with me. We can go sightseeing and just figure everything out ourselves. Ok?"

"Ok," she said with a slight smile.

"I told Rex and Roxy I wanted to meet them for dinner at Rodi's. Will you be here later, Jess? I want someone to help me do research on the cities I've thought up."

"Of course," said Jessica as she got up and walked over to Natalie and gave her a big hug. "I love you, sis."

"I love you too," she smiled as she gave Viki a kiss on the cheek and smiled over at Kevin before leaving.

"Kevin, darling, you were quiet when she told you her news. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I just realized I haven't been that great of a big brother to her since she came back into our family and it made me wonder if I've lost my chance to be one now."

"She's still here, Kevin. It's never too late to show her."

* * *

"Hey baby doll—what's the hold up?" asked Roxy at the table.

"I was talking with Jess and Kevin. Sorry."

"Oh, I see how it is—you've got to tell your _real _family whatever this news is before the one that raised you."

"Stop playing hurt Roxy—I can tell when you're faking it."

"Fine. So what's the news? You and Johnny Mac finally score the big one?" she asked as she popped a few peanuts in her mouth and began to chomp down.

"No. Where's Rex? I want to tell you at the same time."

"He called and said something about Jen's killer being arrested and he wanted to be at the station when they brought him in."

"Oh my God, Roxy! Who was it?"

"How should I know? You're the one that works there, not me."

Natalie just grinned as she thought how she was actually going to miss Roxy's quirkiness, "I guess I'll find him and tell him later. Roxy—I'm moving."

"Good for you—too much stuffiness in that Mausoleum Viki calls home."

"It's not that bad, and I meant I'm leaving Llanview. I want to find a new place to call home, new friends, a new life."

"You know—I remember when you did that before and you ended up here—I'm not following you again, besides—you think there's more family out there you don't know about?"

"No, I know right where my family is," she said as she put a hand to her heart—hopefully she could just get her heart to feel the same way when she did leave town.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Ok, as much fun as I had with "smack-a-John" yesterday it's time to get down to business and writing this story is my business. I almost want to stop with Natalie being happy, but my heart belongs to Jolie (even if John deserves to have hot coffee poured on him, punched, slapped, and evicted. LOL!) and Jolie (in this story at least) is the endgame. Until next time—PCGirl.

* * *

"I left a note on my desk with my cell phone if Carly needs it," said Natalie to her Uncle. Carly was one an officer's daughter that just graduated high school and would need a part time job while attending the University. She was going to take Natalie's place after she left if she got through a few days on her own while Natalie and Jessica went to check out the two final choices on where she'd move to.

"I'm sure she'll be fine, but if things start getting rowdy again she might call you and beg for you to take the job back," laughed Bo.

"That's fine. How is Nora taking all of this? It still gives me chills to think Daniel was the one that killed Jen and Paul—and for nothing more than what he believed would tarnish his reputation."

"Yeah, well I think his reputation is completely smashed now. Nora's ok—I think she'll be better when the next big news story comes in and she's forgotten about."

"If you see her tell her I'm sorry."

"Thanks. Where are the final two choices anyways?"

"Houston and San Diego. Asa is thrilled that I thought of Houston—he says that it's the Buchanan in me wanting to get back to her roots," she laughed. "Well, I need to go finish packing."

"You two be careful, ok?"

"We will," she smiled as she turned and ran into John. "Hey John. Bye John."

"Bye," he said as he watched her walk off and then went into Bo's office. "Where is she headed off to?"

"Houston and San Diego."

"Oh—did I miss something?" he asked, not understanding why she was going to either of those two places.

"She didn't tell you? She's leaving Llanview—wants to start a new life for her."

John nearly choked on the sip of coffee he'd just taken at hearing those words, "Oh. She told me she was thinking about doing something like that, I just hadn't heard that she decided to go through with this."

* * *

"This is it," spoke Natalie quietly as she stood at the water's edge with Jessica next to her as the sun began to sinkinto the ocean.

"What did you say?" asked Jess.

"This is it. This is where I'm going to find my new start—I just—I just know," she smiled as she walked forward and dipped her foot in the surf that was coming in.

"You couldn't have picked something a bit closer to home—say, Pine Valley?" she laughed at watching her twin take in the scenery.

"I'm just a phone call away," she smiled as she took her sister's hand.

"And three time zones. But I'll get used to having to subtract hours before calling you."

Natalie smiled, "I've lived in two places my whole life—Llanview and Atlantic City. Most of the memories of AC have to do with dealing with Roxy. Llanview—well, there's good memories, but there's a lot of bad memories and bad choices I made. I need somewhere that reminds me of both, but without the memories."

"So how does San Deigo remind you of Llanview? I figured out the water connection with Atlantic City, but Llanview?"

"I'm not sure yet—I just feel like I know I can start a life here and be happy that it's my choice."

"Speaking of choices—does John have anything to do with making this choice?"

She was silent as she slipped her sandals off and sat down on the sand—her feet just barely meeting the water's edge, "No, not really. I asked him if he ever wanted to do this—just leave his life behind and start over."

"What was his answer?" asked Jessica as she sat down next to Natalie—their posture mirroring each other.

"He didn't give me an answer really—just detoured around the question and gave me this brooding look," she laughed as she fell back onto the sand and just began to laugh.

"Natalie? Are you ok?" asked Jessica, as she began to get the giggles herself.

Natalie covered her face with her hands to mute the laughter until she finally was able to control herself, "I'm fine. I'm great. I don't know where my life is going, but I know I'm going to have the best time getting there."

* * *

"Ok, spill it, bro," said Michael as he put down his coffee at the diner.

"It's nothing—I was just surprised to hear that Natalie was leaving Llanview—I guess the idea of her not being around is kind of depressing."

Michael couldn't help but smile at how John was acting, "She's not dying man—just moving on with her life."

"Yeah, I know. And that's what depressing—I never had the nerve to walk away from life when Caitlyn left. I allowed myself to still be enveloped in the life we had, and maybe—maybe if I had then I'd be different now—happier now."

"And the patient has a breakthrough."

"Yeah. And why am I telling you this anyways? You're not my shrink."

"You have a shrink?" he teased.

"No."

"I can charge you if you like."

"No, but I would like some doctor patient confidentiality."

"That I can do."

* * *

Natalie finished her game of pool at Rodi's—only a few more days and she'd be missing this pool table like crazy. She was going to miss everything—she could already tell, but the thought of San Diego made her smile—she knew whatever was there was definitely worth the move and new start. She was finishing breaking down her pool cue when she saw Marcie walking towards her with her agent coming up behind her, "Hey."

"Hey. Michael told me you're leaving town," said Marcie quietly.

"Yeah, my flight is the day after next—everything is set, I think."

"You're leaving town? That's so sad—I'm sure Marcie will miss your friendship and support with a killer running around," spouted Hayes.

"Uhm—yeah," said Marcie as she stared at him oddly and then back to Natalie. "I know we've never been close Natalie—I was always on Jen's side."

"I know Marcie—I've always understood that."

"But I wanted to wish you happiness. We all deserve happiness and a new chance to live life to the fullest. I just wish Jen—."

"She knows," said Natalie as she pulled Marcie into a hug—the fact that Hayes was still watching them was giving her a bad vibe, but she brushed it off as she pulled out of the hug. "And I know you and Michael will make it back to each other."

"Thanks. I hope we do. Sometimes I'm ready to just be through with him, but there's just something about him that draws me back to him."

"I know what you mean," said Natalie as she watched John walk in and take a look around the bar before catching her eye. She nodded towards the pool table and a smile appeared on his face as he came to join her—maybe she'd even let him win this time.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I've realized that this story has two parts—the part that was supposed to stop when we believed Melissa was leaving and the part that continues on because she's staying. Here is the end of part 1. Everyone enjoy! And if you can read this on the Jolie yahoo fanfic board, read this chapter there—you might get something a wee bit extra. ;) Until next time—ya'll are the best—PCGirl.

* * *

Natalie stopped taking shirts off the hangers and just stood there in the closet—tears forming again. Why was she crying? She'd never get finished if she kept having to stop every ten minutes to dry her tears.

"Natalie? You need help?" asked Jessica as she walked into her sister's room and took a look at the boxes packed and taped for the movers and the ones that were still only half filled.

"No, I'm fine," she said, the words choked out as she turned to give Jessica a half smile.

"Hey—what's wrong? I thought you were ok with this idea—in San Diego you were laughing and smiling about the thought of living there."

"I still am," she said as she wiped the tears away again. "I was just thinking about what I was like when I first came here. My thoughts—intentions—attitude towards everything Buchanan.

"I was so mad—at everything Buchanan. The money. The people. Mom. Mom especially—I couldn't understand how she didn't realize the baby given back to her wasn't me. How could she have a bond with a complete stranger's child? I'm sorry Jess."

Jessica gave Natalie a big hug, tears coming to her eyes also. "Why are you apologizing again for something completely irrelevant now?"

"I don't know—I just feel like I have to," she said as she thought about something else. "I need to run to the station and make sure Carly is all set for when she takes over on her own tomorrow. I'll be back in time for the party. Love you, Jess."

"Love you too," she smiled as she watched Natalie grab her purse and head out the door.

* * *

Natalie was enjoying herself at Llanfair—her family was all there supporting her decision and enjoying themselves. She almost hated the thought of leaving them, but she'd be back—whether for visits or moving back to Llanview, this is where she now knew she'd always be welcomed.

She'd gone to the station and double checked everything—including her cell phone number, in case something happened Natalie could walk her over the phone. Bo had suggested she tell John goodbye—and though she'd brushed the idea off at first she went by his office as she left and found out he'd gone home for the day. Oh well—she'd send him a postcard.

"Hate to leave this place, eh little missy?" grinned Asa as he walked up behind her.

"Yeah, but I'll be fine on my own," she smiled, tears forming at the thought of saying goodbye to most of them tonight for the last time for awhile.

"How much do I have to pay you to stay?" he asked, completely serious.

"Asa—," she smiled through the tears.

"This is no joke—I'm damn serious here. You've not been in this family long and I'll be damned if I let you just prance right on out of here like you pranced in before."

"Pa—back off," said Bo—coming in to save the day.

"Bo—talk to this girl, make her get some of that common sense she's used in the past," he huffed and walked off.

"Sorry about that, Nat," he said as he leaned in and gave her a wink, causing her to suppress a laugh.

"It's ok, I know he means well."

"Yeah, well meaning well and saying what's right are two different things."

"I know," she said as she watched Kevin and Jessica come towards her together. "Hey," she smiled at them, wiping the remaining tears away. "What's up?"

"Can we talk to you on the patio?" asked Jess—motioning towards it.

"Uhm sure—I'll see you later, Bo," she smiled and followed her siblings. "What's going on?"

"We have a going away present for you, and you don't have a choice on to accept it or not," smiled Jessica.

"Okay," she said, her eyes getting big as she looked at both of them.

"Read this," said Kevin, handing her a small binding of papers and watching her read what it said.

"I can't accept this—I'm not a charity case," she said with a stomp of her foot.

"That's not what you said when you first came here," grinned Jessica.

She just rolled her eyes, "This says there's a trust already set up for me in San Diego. How can that be?"

"I put it together the other day—it's all there waiting for you. There's a condition to it—both Jess and I want you to use it for something useful. There's a lot of good schools in that area—so promise us you'll go back and finish your degree."

Natalie sat down in the chair and stared at the paper for a minute before looking back up at them, tears flowing freely down her face, "Why are you doing this? I mean I was such a complete ass in the beginning—jumping into a family I have no right to have."

Kevin kneeled down to Natalie and took her hands in his, "But you do have the right Natalie. You are just as much of a Buchanan as me or Jess are. And we love you and want whatever you think is best for you. You didn't get the life us and Joey had growing up, and this is your chance and turn to get everything we got and more.

"The most important thing about being a Buchanan is that you have family and any resources you need right at your fingertips—whether you need them at that second or not. So this isn't a handout or a charity case—this is what you deserve in life."

"You put your trust away for your children because they deserve it Natalie, and thought you're used to helping others before yourself—this time you deserve it. So what do you say? Will you take it?" asked Jessica as she kneeled down next to Kevin.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and just nodded her head before she was finally able to smile at them both—the best idea she ever had was coming to Llanview, though her intentions might have been incorrect at the time, she knew it led her to having the best family she could have ever dreamt of.

* * *

Natalie bit her lip as she finished the walk up the stairs to John's room. She didn't know why she felt like she needed to say goodbye—or that he deserved a goodbye, but she wasn't going to turn back on doing this. She knocked on the door and stood there for what felt like forever before he opened the door, "Hey."

"Hey—what's going on?" he asked—not giving her room to pass inside yet.

"I went to say goodbye to you at work and you'd already called it a day."

"Yeah—I had something on my mind so I came here to try and figure it out. You want to come inside?" he asked and she nodded and entered. "When is your flight leaving?" he asked—then thought to himself, _What type of question is that?_

"In the morning—I'm not taking the Buchanan jet though, I was to be a regular person out there—not some sort of rich brat."

"I think that's what most of the people out in California strive to be," he laughed. "It's—it's going to be odd at the station without you there. I've started getting used to you being around—not that I didn't enjoy you being around before," he stuttered the correction. He was royally screwing this up and gave a big breath before speaking again, "I'm going to miss you Natalie—you're good for me."

"Yeah?" she smiled.

"Yeah. You keep me grounded," he spoke as he walked towards her and pushed her bangs out of her face. He kept his hand beside her face and then rubbed the edge of her jawline with her his thumb. They said nothing for the longest time—just looking at each other, both wondering if this would be the last chance for either of them to look at each other this way.

Neither John nor Natalie could say who took the step towards the other, or who initiated the kiss, but suddenly John was pulling the hem of Natalie's shirt over her head as she undid the buttons on his. He picked her up and she scissor locked her legs around his waist as he walked to the bed. This was their last chance—and neither was going to let this opportunity past them by.

* * *

Natalie forced herself to wake back up—she had no clue what time it was but she knew full well where she was—in John's bed, her leg draped over him and her head on his shoulder. She moved her leg slowly first—trying to keep herself relaxed and make him think she was still asleep. When she rolled over though to get out of the bed he grabbed her arm and kept her from moving. His voice was groggy and sounded more raspy than normal, "Stay."

"I can't," she whispered. "I've got a plane to catch."

"Don't go."

"John," she sighed.

"Please, Natalie."

"This wasn't supposed to happen—I was coming here to tell you goodbye because I still see you as a friend."

"You didn't stop it though," he said, a smirk appearing on his face as he let go of her arm.

"Neither did you and you have a girlfriend," she snarked back.

"I love you."

"Don't you dare, John. Don't you dare just start to throw words out at me to try and make me stay. You're this addiction to me John—as much as a try to walk away and not want you I always get pulled back to you. But this was the last time because in the morning I'm getting on a plane and I'm starting a new life for myself. I know I can do this—don't tell me you think I can't."

"I've learned to never think you can't do anything—you're a strong woman, one of the strongest I've met. Natalie—there's something else I need to tell you," he said, ready to spill the truth. Why he was ready to tell her this, less than an hour after they made love for part of the night, he didn't know, but he had to tell her about Cristian.

"No, please don't—I want—I want to remember us just like this, ok?" she said as tears filled her eyes. She finished getting dress quickly and grabbed her purse—not looking back as she walked out of the hotel room and left.

John sat there in his empty bed staring at the room before him as he wondered how he could have let her walk out of his life so easily.

_

* * *

_

Natalie stood there holding her sister tightly and whispered into her ear, "Can I back out now?"

"No—you don't want to do that," laughed Jessica as she pulled away and let the tears fall. "You're going to do great out there—make it big and before long we'll be able to say we knew her when."

"You make me sound like a star or something," she laughed as she wiped the tears away.

"You are, Natalie—you're our shooting star. You're here and then you're gone—and we're better for getting a chance to have you in our lives," said Vicki as she pushed Natalie's hair back out of her face.

"You make it sound like I'm never coming to visit."

"You better or else I'll send Roxy to visit you," winked Rex as he pulled her in for a hug. "You're my hero," he whispered.

"You are too," she said, biting her lip to keep from completely losing her composure. "I'll call when the plane lands. I love you all," she smiled as she turned and walked onto the plane and out of sight.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: It's late and I'm not really sure where this chapter came from, but I kinda like it. Hope you enjoy it! Until next time--PCGirl.

* * *

Natalie pulled up to her apartment in the little blue convertible she'd decided to buy. It was a spur of the moment purchase, but knowing it was hers and she could enjoy it whenever she wanted made her smile. She grabbed the pictures off of the passenger seat and her purse before jumping out and going up to change real quick. She stopped when she saw her neighbor, and fellow college student, Marissa, walking up to her, "Hey."

"Hey. Where are you rushing off to? Or coming back from?"

"I got pictures developed and I was changing to go down to the beach for awhile. You want to join me?"

"Sure. Let me see the pictures though," she said, putting her hand out and not taking no for an answer. She flipped through them casually until she stopped at one, "Who's the hunk?" she grinned as she flipped it around to show Natalie.

Natalie began laughing, "That would be my brother—Rex. My baby brother to be exact and probably one of the biggest scam artists I know."

"Come on, he can't be that bad. What about the guy behind him? He's kinda cute too—in a dark and mysterious way."

"Huh?" asked Natalie as she took the picture back. They'd been taken at the airport the day she left and the only other guy there had been Kevin. She blushed as she realized he'd been there. "Oh my god—I didn't know he was there."

"Who is it?"

"John," she said quietly and repeated herself louder. "John."

"And who is John?" she teased.

"A friend—a good friend," she said while a smile appeared on her face. She'd been in California for two weeks and that night was still playing through her mind—the way he touched her gently and kissed her neck. The outward roughness of him melted away as they continued on in the night. She shook off the private thoughts and back up to Marissa, "Did you say something?"

"No, nothing," she grinned as she finished looking through the pictures and handed them back. "Alright—let me to get ready and I'll meet you back here in a few," she smiled as she turned and walked off.

* * *

John sat quietly in the chapel trying to figure everything out that was running through his head. He knew it all led back to one thing—Natalie and the truth that Cris was alive. She needed to know the truth—she deserved to know the truth and be allowed to decide where to go from there. The thought hit him quickly and he sighed before speaking, hoping the person he was addressing could here him from wherever she was, "Caitlyn—you always were the person that gave me the best advice. You told me what I should do about a case or problem I had—and I miss you for that. And for so much more.

"If someone were to tell me I'd been going through the motions of life with you still alive somewhere—I'd be angry and hurt, but I'd be so grateful for you to be alive. A part of me would be alive again—a part that I let live when I was closer to Natalie before.

"I know the same thing is probably true for Natalie when it comes to Cristian. Yeah, I know what I've got to do. I love you, Cait," he said with a sigh as he got up and walked out of the chapel—ready to let the final secret in his life go.

* * *

Natalie finished messing with her hair and settled down onto the couch. The beach had been fun, and the shopping even better, but now she just wanted to settle down for awhile and relax. She had two classes in the morning and then she wanted to go exploring the area more.

Her eyes wandered over to the photos sitting on the table and she smiled at reaching for them and flipping, missing her family and friends. She stopped at the picture with John in the background. He'd been there to see her off and she hadn't even known it. With a glance at the clock to figure out the time she grabbed the cordless phone and dialed his office—maybe he was still in and she could just check up on how everything was running without her.

She sighed as she got voice mail and hung up. Should she call his cell phone? He could be having an important dinner with Evangeline. A grin appeared on her face—it would be an innocent call—nothing more or less. She dialed and groaned again at getting his voice mail but this time decided to leave a message.

"Hey John—it's Natalie. I was just calling to see how everything was going at the station. Guess you're probably out with Evangeline," she said—extending the last syllable like she usually did when making a point. "I've still got my Llanview cell number so give me a call sometime. Bye!"

* * *

John caught Bo before he went into his office and stopped him, "Hey—I need a few days off."

"Can I ask what for, John?" he said, knowing the answer.

"It's something personal—I need to finish up on an old case."

"How old?"

"Let's just say almost two years—well, that's the starting point anyways. There's more also Bo—but I think you might already know anyways," he said with a half grin.

"Yeah, go take your few days off—just—don't expect anything immediate in return from whatever you're going to say."

He grinned again, "The only thing I might expect immediately is a door in the face, but I've got to try." John headed straight out of the station and to go pack a small bag and catch the next flight—never hearing Carly say that a messenger delivered a letter to him and it was sitting on his desk.

The knock on the door startled Natalie out of studying—and when she checked the peep hole she was even more surprised to see a messenger on the other side. "Can I help you?" she called through the closed door.

"Are you Natalie—Vega?" asked the man.

"Yes—why?"

"I've got some important papers for you from Pennsylvania—they need a signature."

"Ok, just a moment," she said as she opened the door and took the manila envelope from him. "Can I ask what these are?"

"No clue. Have a good day," he said as he took back his clipboard and walked off. Natalie sat down on the couch and pulled out the contents and took notice of a piece of paper that held a familiar handwriting on it.

_Natalie,_

_Please don't be scared—it's really me, Cristian. I was scared and couldn't tell anyone that it was me when they sent me to Statesville. I didn't want you to be ashamed of being married to a murderer. John came to see me a few weeks ago—he actually knew it was me, but I made him promise me he'd never tell you. He wanted you to be able to find happiness again, and thought I could bring that to you, but I can't._

_  
We've burned too many bridges and changed too much. I'm getting help though—and have hired a lawyer who says she might be able to overturn the verdict from Tico's death. It was her that drew up the annulment papers—I want you to find happiness Natalie, and I'm hoping that wherever you are you can and will find it again. _

_You deserve everything Natalie—everything that I promised you in our lives—I know you can and will find that. I wanted to be the one for you to put all your trust and dreams in and make them a reality-- I'm sorry it just can't be me to give it to you. If there's anyone to be angry with on keeping this secret from you it's me—not John. I know you—you opened up and let me see every scar on you and so I knew you'd stand by me forever. Promise me you'll learn to trust and open yourself to someone again—someone that can fulfill every dream you've had since you were a little girl in Atlantic City._

_I love you, Natalie._

_Cris_

This had to be wrong—this was some cruel trick from that imposter. Her Cristian was dead—the DNA test had proved that. She'd never seen the test though—nobody had seen it except John. Could he have done that? Could he have kept that from her all these months?

That last night—there was something he wanted to tell her, but she wouldn't let him—something that he was sure would keep her in Llanview.

Her world was crumbling—the two men she trusted in her life that weren't a family member had been keeping a secret from her for months. How could they do this? How could they make a decision this life altering for her?

This was wrong—she'd come here to get away from the blackness that enveloped her in Llanview, but here it was again—staring back at her in the form of a letter. Was it ever going to get better? Would she ever find the happiness she wanted? Right then she wanted nothing more than to slap John McBain and tell him exactly where he could go, but the only thing she could do was crumble into the couch and lose herself in tears and doubt that she'd ever escape her life from before.

* * *

John was already on the plane to San Diego when Evangeline came strolling into the office—ignoring Carly when she said he wasn't in.

She walked into his office and looked around—a personal letter on his desk catching her eye—it was unopen, but she knew he wouldn't mind reading.

The words were cryptic, as if it was the secret code of somebody scared for the world to know of their existence just yet.

_I took your advice. Am seeking psychiatric counseling now for what happened to me on the ship. As for N—she's getting a letter also. I told her not to blame you, but she's pretty hard headed and probably won't listen at first._

_Just thought I'd give you a heads up before you get knocked senseless._

_  
C._

Her jaw dropped as she figured everything out. This was her golden ticket—after this Natalie could be happy with Cristian and John would be all hers. It seemed like a sign from heaven that they were meant to be. Nothing would make Natalie want John back after this.

Nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Not much to say today. Hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th! Until next time--PCGirl.

* * *

Natalie gritted her teeth at the sound of the knock on the door—she'd gone to class this morning and then holed herself up in the apartment—not ready to talk to anybody about what was bothering her. She went to open the door and tell Marissa she didn't feel like company, "Marrisa—I—." She stopped in mid sentence—what was he doing here? What right did he have now—after knowing what he did for months—to come here to her new home?

"I need to talk to you," spoke John—quietly and his head down—if he looked in her eyes he'd never be able to get the words out.

"John—."

"Please, Natalie. Let me say this and then I'll be out of your life for good. I promise."

"Fine," she sighed—ready to give him an earful when he was done.

"When I said I love you I meant it, but I don't deserve to love you at all. And the reason—the reason is because I've kept a secret from you. The DNA results on the imposter—they showed that it really was Cristian. He's alive and I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't cut it. I want you to have happiness Natalie—I know, the man that's kept you from happiness for nearly two years, says he wants you to have happiness—ironic, isn't it?"

"John," she said, the tears coming out again. "Why now? Why are you telling the truth now?"

"That day—in Angel Square you said you thought I'd understand you leaving your old life behind because I lost Caitlyn like you lost Cris. Caitlyn always knew the right thing for me to say or do—she was the person I counted on when something important was happening. And I was missing her yesterday and realized something—if she were out there somewhere, still alive today, I'd want to know—I'd want to see if I could get back the part of me that was lost when she died.

"You deserve to know if you can get back that love with Cris before you move on with anyone. I just—I understand why you want to breakaway from everything in Llanview—I never had the nerve to do that when I lost Caitlyn, but for you to completely breakaway you need to know about Cris," he said, as he turned to walk out the door.

"Stop—wait," she spoke, watching him turn slowly—seemingly ready for him to duck from flying objects. "I know about Cris—he sent me annulment papers last night. And a letter—saying he made you not tell me. Neither of you had the right to keep something this important from me, but thank you for still coming here and telling me, John."

John just gave her a half grin and winked, "Just doing my job, ma'am." And with that he turned and left Natalie alone to sort through the spinning room before her.

-------------------

John hung up the hotel telephone and sighed—he'd missed the last flight for the day and was going to have to wait until morning. He'd accomplished what he came to San Diego to do—to let Natalie be completely free of him and Cristian, and to make her own decision what to do from here—so why'd he feel like something was still missing.

The knock on the door surprised him and he opened the door without checking who it was first and suddenly felt the sting of being slapped across the face.

"That was for earlier—I forgot to give it to you," said Natalie as she walked into the room.

"Thanks—I needed it," he said, touching his face but a slight grin on his lips. "What can I do you for?"

Natalie breathed deeply before sitting on the bed and standing up—"I don't know—I don't know anything anymore."

"Excuse me?"

"I should be furious with you and Cristian—and I was yesterday. But now—I'm not—I feel free."

"That's a good thing, Natalie," he smiled.

"No, it's not. John—be honest with me—who do you want to be with? Me or Evangeline?"

"You. I want to be with you."

"Ok," she said—still unsure as to why she came here. "If what you are saying is the truth will you jump through a few hoops to get me?"

"Like what," he laughed.

"I'm serious here. I want you to tell Antonio the truth about Cris. And take whatever he gives you—."

"I kinda like the shape and position my nose is in at the moment, but I'll do it. I should. I kept the truth from him also.

"And Carlotta."

"And Carlotta too. Anything else?"

Natalie had something else but she suddenly had the urge to make him squirm, "Say it again."

"Say what?"

"Say that you love me."

John was pleased at her request and took two small steps to her, his hands covering her face and his eyes glistening with tears as he spoke softly again, "I love you, Natalie."

--------------------------

"I should go home. I've got class tomorrow," yawned Natalie as she sat on one end of the couch in the hotel room, her legs bent underneath her as she faced John who was sitting in front of her, pushing a stray hair out of her face at the moment.

It was late, they'd been talking for hours and she'd just realized the time.

"Stay."

She grinned at hearing the word again and wanting to obey it this time, "Ok."

"Wow. If it was always this easy," he grinned as he leaned in and pinned her against the couch before kissing her.

Later, after they'd made love and made their way over to the bed as Natalie fell asleep she whispered, "The picture."

"What is that, sweetheart?" he asked.

"The picture—at the airport—you were there—why?" she mumbled.

"Because I didn't want to let you go," he said softly and saw her finish falling to sleep. "And I'm not letting you go now, either," he finished as he let himself go to sleep.

--------------------

John sighed as he walked back into the Angel Square Hotel. He hadn't wanted to leave Natalie so soon, but when he'd called to check in at the station Bo said he needed him back. Him and Natalie had wasted so much time already and now there was a continent separating them, but they'd get through it and past that—he was confident they would because they always got past whatever it was between them.

His happiness of the events of the previous night and this morning faded though as he realized his hotel room door was unlocked and walked in to see Evangeline staring at a picture of his mother that was sitting on the dresser, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you—I know what you did, and telling Natalie the truth—it was noble of you to fly all that way so she and Cris can be together again."

"Excuse me?" he questioned. How'd she know where he'd gone or that Cristian was alive?

"The DNA test—I found it. That's the explanation as to why you went to San Diego."

She was lying—he was too smart of a cop to leave the DNA test just lying about—he'd thrown it out months ago, ripping it up into bits so nobody would know the truth. But she knew the truth—how?

What was it Carly had said on the phone earlier? That she'd seen Evangeline walking out of his office yesterday with a smug look on her face. Cristian must have sent him a letter also—warning him that Natalie was about to know the truth—and Evangeline, the snoop that she was, had read what wasn't hers to begin with.

How hadn't he seen this in her before? He'd known she'd do anything to prove a clients innocence—would she also do anything to hang onto a relationship that never existed? Probably, and that made it easier for what he had to do next.

"I did go to San Diego, and it was to tell Natalie the truth," he told her honestly. "But she forgave me."

"That's good, right?"

"Yes, and then we made love all night," he said, trying to keep himself from smiling.

"Wha—What did you say?"

"I'm in love with Natalie. I always have been and I've never loved you. I'm sorry that I strung you along for a year for nothing—and I'm sorry to end what we have this way."

"End? There's no reason for us to end. Cristian is alive—him and Natalie are going to be together again. She'll be happy—why do we have to end?"

"Cristian is alive—and he wants Natalie to be happy, but he knows the truth—he knows that him and Natalie have changed over the past two years. He's stepping to the side for me and her, and I think you should do the same."

He figured Evangeline would run out of here in tears but John was puzzled when she started laughing, "Something funny?"

"Natalie went all the way to San Diego to break us up. She's so desperate and you're buying into it like some school boy."

"You're the one that's desperate Evangeline. First to think that and second to want to hang onto a man that never loved you. I'll say it again—I'm sorry—I need to change and get to the station," he said as he walked past her and over to the dresser—finding something to wear and going to change in the bathroom. He stayed in there until he heard a key clink onto the table and the front door close.

-----------------

Natalie hadn't even made it all the way up the stairs of the lecture hall before she had her cell phone out and ready to dial the station. She heard her name behind her and turned to see Marissa taking the steps two at a time to catch her, "Hey."

"Hey yourself," she grinned. "You barely made it to the other class this morning and were then gone before I had a chance to catch you."

"Yeah," she smiled and then looked at Marissa who was still grinning. "What?"

"I saw a guy that resembled your friend John yesterday—he was coming into the complex as I was leaving. And when I got back your car was gone—all night, Natalie."

"Who are you? My sister?" she laughed. "Yes, John was here—and we're _more than friends_," she said, imitating the way she'd said it to Evangeline once. "So?"

"Just asking. I gotta get my next class. We still on for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah," smiled Natalie as she walked out of the building and around the corner to find a place to sit and call. The phone rang twice before he picked up. "How'd I know you'd already be at work?"

"How'd I know it was going to be you on the other end?" he laughed.

"Lucky guess. How's the nose?"

"Mikey says it's not broken," he said as he touched it slightly.

"How'd Michael already know? I mean you've only been back there for a few hours."

"Evangeline went running to him when I ended things with her."

"Oh God. Talk about desperate."

"What is with that word today?" he laughed.

"It's good to hear you laugh, McBain."

"It's good to hear you smile—what are you now? You're not Vega anymore. Buchanan? Balsom?"

"I'm your's."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Due to my screw up the original a/n is lost. Sorry Gracie you aren't for sure totally cool to the max. ;)

"And make sure to wear some regular clothes," said Natalie as she walked towards her car in the parking lot of school. It'd been a week since she'd seen him last, and she didn't know the last time he hadn't been wearing a suit.

"Regular clothes?" he chuckled at his desk—ready to be closer to her in a matter of hours.

"Yeah—you know—not work clothes."

"Is there something wrong with the way I dress?"

"No, not really—if you don't mind looking like you are going to a funeral everyday of your life."

"Thanks for the compliment."

"Anytime," she grinned. "So tell me, John—did you dress better in high school or even then were you dressed like you were ready to teach class?"

"It was the 80's—take a guess."

She laughed loudly, "I can imagine. I should get your Senior Prom picture from Eve—I bet you were gnarly."

"Oh yeah—grey suit with a pink bow tie."

"Very stylish, McBain," she said, holding in the laughter that was building up inside.

John snickered, "Remind me to call my mom and tell her to burn the pictures."

"She won't—she loves me, and I know if I ask before you get a chance to she'll send them to me."

"Fine—but no laughing. I'm sure there are times in your wardrobe then that you'd rather not be remembered."

"With Roxy as a mother—oh yeah. She used me as a guinea pig for new hair dyes. One month in middle school I went through five different hair colors—I'm surprised my hair didn't fall out."

"You'd still be beautiful," he sighed—ready to give up on everything and move out to where she was. "So what are our plans for tonight?"

"Not sure—by the time you get here I'm sure I'll have something planned."

"Can't wait," he grinned. "I love you, Natalie."

Her heart skipped a beat at hearing the words—she could never hear them enough, "I love you too, John."

----------------------

"Good, I was worried your plane was going to be late," said Natalie as she opened the door for John and he saw how she was dressed. Jeans, a red tank top and Phillies jersey, and backwards baseball cap.

"What's going on?" he laughed as she plopped a baseball cap on his head and leaned up for a kiss.

"The Phillies are playing today—did you know that?" she grinned.

"Well, it is baseball season," he said as he got a better fit on the cap.

"Here, John. They are playing in San Diego today—I forgot how much I missed seeing them on tv. Are you coming or staying?" she asked with one foot out the door and keys in hand.

John chuckled at her spontaneity at this—just hours ago before he got on the plane he called and she was unsure what to do, and now she was all ready to cheer on her baseball team.

----------------

"Oh give me a break! That was so out of the box! Get some glasses Ump!" yelled Natalie as she sat in Qualcomm Stadium with John at a Phillies/Padres game.

John just grinned at the sight of her—it made him sad to think of all the chances for other memories they had lost because of his denial of feelings for her. He leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "I think if you don't stop the fans around us are going to boot us out of the stadium—perhaps San Diego all together."

"If they can't handle a bossy AC girl then let them. I don't care," she said, never taking her eyes off home plate. "Besides—I'm not going to get to see these guys play that much while living here. At least with the Eagles they'll be nationally televised."

John kept grinning and returned to watching the game, but said under his breath, "I love you."

Natalie just smiled at hearing those words and looked at him, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

-------------------------

"I'm so glad the ump finally saw the light and let our guys win," laughed Natalie as she walked in and threw her hat on the couch. "You want a beer?"

"Yeah, so now what?"

"Hmmm?" she asked as she walked back in from the kitchen.

"Where do we go from here? I mean its killing me to be away from you," he said as he touched her face and watched her shiver slightly.

"Me too, but—."

"Why's there have to be a but?"

"Because I'm in school John—and incase you forgot you do have a serial killer on your hands," she grinned and took a few steps away from him.

"Thanks for the reminder."

"Anytime," she grinned. "I guess we'll just have to get through the obstacles in our way and until then enjoy every moment we have together."

"Yeah—too bad for that," he smiled as he took the few steps closer to her and covered her mouth with his.

------------------

"You almost done over there?" asked Natalie as she sat on the couch indian style, a textbook laying open in her lap and a notepad on the arm of the sofa.

"Hmm, yeah," sighed John as he turned to look up at her. He was sitting on the floor with his laptop he'd brought with him in front of him—a federal looking website opened on screen.

"What were you looking at anyways?" she asked as she put aside the textbook and scooted over behind him.

"Marcie gave me a list of people in the killing club, and I was looking at any information the FBI had on them. Thought maybe I missed something the first time."

"No luck?"

"Nope. Nothing. I mean we're talking none of these people are as cracked as they were in the past. They've made it past the Killing Club it seems—one's a medical resident, one is a writer for the Times, and there are two that are in law school right now. Nothing to make you think killing maniac getting revenge on Marcie for writing the book."

"It would hurt their reputation though for the truth to get out that they thought these things."

"Yeah, I guess. But we've interviewed them—nobody cares really. Plus nobody except people in Llanview really know that it's from a true club. You know?"

"What if it's not one of the members, but an associate?"

"Like an accomplice?"

"Have any of them died or passed away already?"

"Yeah—this one guy, Anthony Trayer," he said tapping his name on the list Marcie had given him. "But his record was clean before he died."

"Maybe it's a relative to him—maybe you should get his picture and see if it resembles someone we know," she said as she rubbed his shoulders, trying to get the knots out.

John leaned his head back into her lap and smiled at her, "That's why I love you. You always give me a new perspective on things.'

"And we didn't even need any paint this time," she said, laughing as she leaned down and kiss him.

------------------------

A pout formed on Natalie's mouth as she heard the radio alarm turn on and Kelly Clarkson's voice filled the room. She looked over to see John's eyes were closed and she went to snuggle closer, "I'm not going to school—I quit."

He laughed at her statement and pulled her tighter, "Why?"

"Because I have to leave in a little while and your plane will take off while I'm gone."

"I'll be back soon though—and you need to go to school."

She sighed and pulled herself closer so she was almost on top of him, "I know. So what do you think we could do before you have to leave?"

"I think we have enough time that we could do quiet a few things," he grinned as he finished pulling her on top of him and pulled her head down to his so her thick hair blocked out the morning light.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Don't kill me for the cliffhanger--please. I'm going on a mini-vacation for the weekend, but this chapter wanted to be written so I wrote it. Ya'll have a wonderful weekend--stay cool if you're living in this min-version of hell like I am at the moment--and if you have mid 70's weather--bite me. ;) Until next time--ya'll are the best--PCGirl.

* * *

John walked into the hotel room and threw the keys onto the couch, watching them bounce and land on the floor. The anger of everything was quickly coming to a head and he knew he needed to get out whatever frustration he had before he called Natalie. He looked at his watch—it was 6 there and she was probably about to have her dinner slash study session with Marissa. He dropped a few coins into the slot machine as he grabbed the cordless phone and dialed—his anxiety going away the second he heard her voice, "It's so good to hear your voice."

Natalie blushed at hearing him say that, "It's good to hear from you too. I'm surprised you called this early—is everything ok?" she asked and received silence. "John? What happened?"

"We caught him."

"Him? The killer?" she asked as her eyes got huge.

"Yeah, it was Marcie's agent—Hayes Barber. He held her hostage—and if I hadn't gotten there when I did Michael would have my head on a stick right about now," he sighed as he finally let himself sit down and all his emotions of the day's ordeal poured out.

"_Whatcha doin'?" asked Michael as he walked into John's office and saw him looking over a yearbook._

"_Lookin' at Marcie's yearbook. This one kid—Anthony Trayer—he died a few years ago after a nasty car wreck. From the reports I've gotten he lived, but then caught an infection at the hospital and died a week later. Who does he look like to you?" he asked as he pushed the yearbook across his desk and to his brother._

"_He almost resembles Hayes," he said as he scratched his head. "You don't think—."_

"_Never say never," he said as he picked up the phone. "Yeah—I need birth certificates on Hayes Barber and . I want to see if there's a connection between the two. Half siblings or first cousins—but I need this yesterday, got me? Good."_

"_What do we do while we wait?"_

"_We go find Marcie and don't let her out of our sight."_

_----------------_

"_I don't know why you're acting this way Hayes," said Marcie as she walked around the living room of the cottage._

"_I'm just saying I think the killer is going to strike again soon, and I'm worried that it might be you—so will you please just sign these papers? It's for your own protection."_

"_You don't care about my protection, Hayes—you only care about selling books."_

"_That's not true, Marcie." A sudden knock on the front door made him look up, "Who is that?"_

"_Marcie?" called Michael from the other side._

"_Just a second Michael."_

"_I wouldn't do that," said Hayes and she turned to see he had a gun pointed straight at her._

"_Hayes? What's going on?"_

"_Tell him to leave now or I'll blow your brains out—do it."_

_A shaken Marcie turned and called back to Michael, "Actually Michael—I'm just about to get in the shower—I'll call you later."_

"_Is everything ok in there?"_

"_Yes, I'm fine," she said as she peered out the window and it seemed that he'd left. "Are you the killer?" she asked as she turned to look at Hayes who was holding the document._

"_Does the name Anthony Trayer ring a bell?"_

"_Tony? He was in the Killing Club, but he died a few years ago—didn't he?"_

"_He was my half brother and right before he died he told me about this book idea he wanted to write. It was a take off of your little club from high school—and I was just finishing up my manuscript for it when you came waltzing into the publishing office in New York. That's why I jumped at the chance to be your agent—recreate a few of the murders and then suddenly—."_

"_The author dies by the killer?"_

"_But not before she signs over all royalties to her agent—because she was scared something was going to happen to her."_

"_Sounds pretty simple. So is there where I'm supposed to start begging for mercy?"_

"_No, first you're going to sign this," he said as he threw the paper at her._

"_I don't think she's going to be signing anything," said John as he pushed the muzzle of the gun against Hayes' head. "Give me the gun," he said as he reached his free hand around and grabbed it from him._

"_It's a joke officer, I'd never hurt Marcie. She's my star author," chuckled Hayes._

"_Yeah—right," he said._

"You still there," said John on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, I'm in shock. That day at Rodi's—what he said to Marcie and I—it creeped me out, but I brushed it off."

"Wait—did you ever tell me this?"

"I don't know John," she shrugged. "It was the same day as that last game of pool we played at Rodi's. He said he was sorry that Marcie wouldn't have my friendship and support while a killer was running around. I barely knew the guy and just figured it was something he'd say."

John sighed, "You know—taking him back to the station I had this thought cross my mind that maybe he would have used you and Marcie against me and Michael."

"And now?"

"And now I'm almost positive that's what he would have done," he sighed quietly.

"John. Listen to me—I'm here and I'm safe—he didn't get to me, and the first time he tried it was you that saved me then. Nothing is going to happen to me—I wish I could be there to prove it to you, but you caught the bad guy. The good guys won this time, ok?"

"Ok," he said with a slight smile. "I love you."

"I love you too. But Marissa is at the door—can I call you later tonight?"

"Of course."

"Ok, I will—and here's my parting shot to you for now—it's not your fault that you didn't catch him earlier, the guy is a psycho—just like Haver, and both Marcie and I are safe. There's nothing for you to worry about so don't you dare sulk in your room all night."

"Yes ma'am," he said with a grin and hung up the phone—realizing just how well she knew him.

-------------------

It'd been a week since they'd caught Hayes and life was starting to get normal again for John—except the impulse decision John had made last night was burning a hole in his pocket.

He whistled to himself as he brought out the files he'd finished looking at and placed them on Carly's desk, "I'm done with these. Is Bo busy?"

"I don't think so," she smiled at watching him.

"Is something funny?"

"The guys were just taking bets earlier on how long you could hold off on today before you started whistling," she laughed.

"Oh really? What did you bet?"

"I had more faith in you than most of them—they all said you'd be whistling when you woke up—I gave you til a few hours before the flight."

"Yeah, well that's cause your smarter than most of them put together," he chuckled and went to Bo's office. Walking into Bo's office he felt odd asking him something, not as his boss, but as Natalie's uncle. "Bo, you got a minute?"

"Sure, John what is it?"

John sat down in a chair and looked straight at Bo, "I hope I'm not over the line for asking you this—," he said as he started a conversation he thought he'd never have again.

-------------------

Natalie looked at her watch and tried to decide what she needed to do—reservations were set for tonight, and the apartment was spotless and she still had over an hour before John's plane landed.

Something kept tugging at her that tonight was going to be a night she'd always remember, but she didn't want to get her hopes up at anything. John wasn't the impulsive type—they hadn't even had discussed yet what was going to happen now that they'd caught the killer.

Her thoughts were stopped by a knock on the door and she smiled at knowing it was probably Marissa coming over. A smile on her face as she opened the door, "Hey—Cris."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: More thanks than I could ever imagine go to Laura who helped me "scout" locations. LOL--you are a doll, and unknowinglypointed me into the perfect Jolie location that I used to wrap up the chapter. Speaking of wrapping up, this is the last official chapter of the story--there will be an epilogue, so never fear--I can't abandon you all just like that. hehehe.

Until next time--which will be pretty soon, most likely--PCGirl.

-----------------------

John pulled into the complex and made the few turns to her building—a smile on his face and a local station blarring music out of his rental.

His smile turned into a furrowed brow and he turned the volume down—her car was gone. Was he at the right building? He looked and saw Marissa's car parked at the next building down and knew he was at the right building. Maybe it was in the shop for repairs, he shrugged—going up and knocking on the door.

"John—hey," said a voice behind him and he turned to see Marissa walking up. "Natalie told me to keep an eye out for you. She had a friend come for a quick dinner—said he wanted to talk to her about something. She gave me her key to give to you though."

"Thanks," he said, looking at the key. "You don't happen to know where they went—do you?"

"I think they went to the bistro down the street—take a left out of the complex and then a right at the third light—you'll see it on your right."

"Thanks again, Marissa," he said with a nod before getting into the car and driving off.

-----------------

John had asked the hostess if she'd seen anyone fitting Natalie's description come in and she'd pointed him around the back to the patio area. He walked around the corner and was surprised to see who Natalie was sitting with—it was Cristian. She was smiling at something—her eyes sparkling with happiness.

He wondered if he'd ever had a chance—the few times they'd been together since she came to San Diego were great, but now he doubted everything. As he turned to leave he heard her soft laugh drift toward him and give him chills.

-----------------

John had left the bistro and headed back towards the airport when he realized he still had Natlalie's key—Marissa had left so he went into the apartment to wait on her and Cris to get back.

His thoughts and random walking around the living room stopped when the door clicked open and he turned to see her walk in and over towards him giving him a hug, "Hey."

"I missed you," she smiled as she pulled out of the hug and kept her distance to him minimal. "Did you have to wait long?"

"Uhm—no, not really. Natalie—I know," he said as he pushed her away just a bit.

"Know what?"

"About Cris—Marissa told me the bistro you were at and so I went to see you there."

Natalie laughed as she watched his expressions flash upon his face—the only time he could ever not hide them well was when he was distracted and jealous about something. "John—do you see Cris here?"

"No, I figured he was outside waiting for me to leave."

She smiled as she walked closer to him, "You know—when you get jealous these little creases around your eyes show up more," she said as she touched the area in question. "And then you start to stutter a bit too."

"Do not."

"Yeah, then you start arguing."

"Stop, Natalie. Why are you doing this?"

"See—I'm right," she smiled. "Let me tell you something—Cris showed up at my door a few hours ago and had someone he wanted me to meet—her name is Tanya and she's his good friend slash girlfriend. They came here for vacation and he wanted me to meet her and make sure I was ok with everything.

"I don't know why you didn't see her—maybe because you were only paying attention to part of the scene, but I told Cris that I'm in love with you and happy with you."

"Are you sure? I want you to be happy Natalie—I can make myself forget you, it'll take time but—."

"Stop John. Seriously just stop it. If I didn't want to be with you seriously I would have said so—I would have never seen you again after learning about Cristian being alive. Ok?"

"Ok," he said sheepishly.

"Good, now if you're done with this jealousy fit I need to go get ready or we're going to be late."

"Late?"

"I made our reservations for eight, but I wanted to have a few drinks before dinner," she gave him a quick grin before pulling her hair out of the pony tail it'd been in and went into her bedroom shutting the door behind her.

----------------------

"This doesn't seem like your type of joint," said John as they walked into the Top of the Hyatt restaurant.

"We can't live off of beer and burgers forever John," she smiled as the waiter showed them their table that overlooked the harbor. "Isn't the view gorgeous?"

"Breathtaking," he sighed as his eyes continued to look at her. She'd pulled her hair up and into a French twist and was wearing a strapless black dress that went down to just above her knees and had white piping down the sides and around the waist.

"I was talking about the city John," she said, as she felt the tinge of blushing come to her cheeks. "Besides I wanted this to be a time to celebrate and decide what's next in our lives. I want to stay here another semester—that's all I need to graduate, but I can come back to Llanview and just take the classes there instead—if you need to stay in Llanview and at the department. I just don't think I can be away from you for another semester."

John smiled at what she was willing to do to be near him and he knew he would do the same, "That was actually one of the things I talked to Bo about before I left today. He's giving me time off from the department—if anyone asks we're stating personal reasons."

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes until you're ready to go back there. And if the answer is never—if you'd rather live here then I'm fine with that. Your happiness is what matters to me Natalie and I love you and will continue loving you as long as you'll let me," he said as his eyes began to get watery."

"John," she said softly.

"I—had this plan and speech prepared earlier, but I don't remember any of it right now. So I'll say this plain and simple," he said as he got up out of his chair and came to hers and knelt down, pulling the box out of his pocket. "Natalie Balsom Buchanan—will you marry me?"

"John," she said as she wiped the tears away and just nodded—putting her hand out and feeling surreal as she watched him slip the ring on her hand. John looked up at her and she gave him a smile before throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

-----------------

"Where are you taking me?" asked John as they walked into the lobby of the other tower of the hotel.

"You'll see," smiled Natalie as she pulled his arm and he followed until he saw a sign for Redfields Lounge and Bistro.

The sound was the first thing he heard he grinned, "Jazz."

"Yeah, I thought it'd be something different. We don't have to stay if you don't want to," she said as she sat down on an empty couch and he joined her, her head finding his shoulder almost immediately as she listened to the music of the singer on stage.

"No, it's great—you're great for thinking of this," he said as he realized she was studying her ring again. "I'm not going to ask for it back so you can stop staring at it—it's not going anywhere."

"I know," she sighed. "I just can't believe it—and you actually got emotional," she laughed.

"Yeah, well when it comes to you I've learned it's pretty hard to try and hide them," he said as he kissed her on the head and then pushed her face up to his and kissed her again.


	12. Epilogue

A/N: This is the first Jolie story I've finished since November. LOL--well, that's not including the Nick/Nat story. Sigh. Natalie might need a man other than John--perhaps a nice straping blonde--hazel eyed male. Wait--am I talking about Nash or the character Nick I created. LOL. Anyways--thank you all for reading and enjoying my stories--it's always been a pleasure to get a review in my mailbox from one of you. And now, without further ado--the Epilogue to Breakaway. Until I finish another story--PCGirl.

------------------------

Natalie stood just inside the doors of the Hotel Del Coronado looking outside—she couldn't see him and the butterflies in her stomach were going nonstop.

"Are you ready sweetheart?" said Clint as he came up behind her.

"I think so—I wish these butterflies would calm down," she laughed, touching her stomach for more than one reason. The dress she'd picked had been candlewhite—not as stark with her hair and skin tone, but still perfect for a bride. It was a sleeveless, v-neck, sheath style—as Roxy said when she saw it on her for the first time—it showed off her curves.

She took her dad's arm and walked with him out onto the veranda and down the steps—when she saw John standing there at the other end she couldn't stop smiling—if someone had told her on that first day that it'd be him that she would be starting a family with and not Cristian she'd have told them they were crazy. But life pulls you in the direction it wants—takes you where you need to be. And she knew John's arms were exactly that place.

------------------

"I'm surprised they let us slip out here so easily," said Natalie later as they stood on the beach as she and John watched the sunset in front of them.

"Well, it is our wedding day," he said as he nuzzled his way through her hair to find her neck and hiss it.

"True," she smiled as she put her hand on her stomach. "This morning when I woke up I wondered if the baby could feel them also."

"I'm sure she can," he whispered.

"You think it's a girl," she said, leaning her head back and looking up at him.

"Yeah, and she's going to as beautiful, stubborn, and headstrong as her mother," he said covering her mouth.

"They're going to be mad when they find out we didn't tell them today."

"Let them be mad—I kinda like the idea of keeping secrets," he grinned.

"John," she groaned.

"The good kind. Only the good kind from now on—I promise," he said.

They figured they'd live in San Diego for another six months to a year then go back to Llanview—but whenever they needed to breakaway this was where they'd do it. This is where they found and created a new life between the two of them. This was their paradise.


End file.
